I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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