i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
