HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
