I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize