i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
