U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
