I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
