too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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