I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
