And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
