So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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