Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
