the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
