Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
