AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
