why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
