Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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