Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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