Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
