what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We have started to decorate penises.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
