His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
