I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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