We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
