white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
