Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
