Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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