Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
