all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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