no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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