gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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