I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
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