We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
