So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
