did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
sarcasm needs its own font
Did I show you my penis last night?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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