Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
