Can i not drive my cunt home
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
