So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
