Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
