you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
