That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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