i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
