i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dick very happy bro
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
