What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
