The best revenge is premature balding
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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