dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
