no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
