Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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