How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
