Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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