I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
