I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
