My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
