oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
