I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
