what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
